


Recovery: A Tale Of Two Phantoms

by VictoryDanceOfc



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Headcanon, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Post Ending, Romance, Slow Burn, his name is Ren in this one, persona 5 royal spoilers, sue me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23924770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictoryDanceOfc/pseuds/VictoryDanceOfc
Summary: She watched her mother die, and it left her with emotional scarring that nearly destroyed her life.He was seriously injured by an abusive teacher, and it left him with physical scarring that nearly destroyed his life.The friend who saved them both from ruin has left, and life is back to normal, but traumas can't be erased as easily as Palaces. There's still a lot of healing left to be done after the events of the past year.Nobody should have to do that kind of healing alone.
Relationships: Sakamoto Ryuji/Sakura Futaba
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	1. One Week Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who decides the thing called fate?  
> Such cruel, unfeeling hands  
> To mold a world; to build, create  
> Yet keep it in a solid state  
> Until it should disintegrate  
> Right where we wished to stand.
> 
> Our skies were clear as sand.

> _< Come to Akihabara immediately. It is a matter of life and death.>_

Ryuji stared at his phone screen blankly. The message had popped up without any sort of information about the sender -- there was no name, number, ID, or anything else that could provide a hint about who sent it. With an eyebrow raised, he quickly shot back a response.

<Who the hell is this? Where did you get my number?>

_< That does not matter. Come to this address at once. Look for a blue bench on the southwest corner of the block, next to the convenience store.>_

Ryuji started to type out another reply, but the mystery messenger sent him a map link before he could finish. Out of an equal mix of frustration and curiosity, he clicked. The area that whoever-this-was wanted him to go to was actually a spot he was pretty familiar with -- he went to an arcade near the area on occasion.

Granted, he hadn't gone there without Ren in almost a year.

Ryuji tried to flip back to the chat to ask more questions, but upon trying to pull it up he realized it had been completely deleted. Sighing, he pulled the map back up. It was still early afternoon, and he wasn't more than a short ride away... and his curiosity was starting to get the better of him. In any case, there was only one person he knew personally that was likely to pull this sort of thing in the first place. If he was right, either she needed his help or he was about to be subject to a _really_ good prank.

The only other possibility, Ryuji mused while waiting to board the train, was that this was some psycho trying to lure him into a murder lair. If that was the case, he was pretty sure he'd had enough training in physical combat to protect himself. What's a serial killer to someone who's taken down a god?

Strolling down the street towards the spot marked on his GPS, he pulled his jacket a little tighter around himself. April was right around the corner, but the wind still had a harsh chill to it. It was probably just his imagination, but... everything seemed a little bit colder now than it had a week ago. With Ren and Morgana gone, no more Metaverse, and the world back to normal... life felt stranger than ever. He'd spent the past three months re-adjusting to life as a normal student, same as the rest of his friends, but now that Ren was back home he felt... alone.

They had talked a few times over the past week, and of course he had the rest of their little group, but somehow he felt even lonelier than he had before he'd met Ren -- and back then he'd lost every friend he had. At that time, when he was a complete social pariah, he'd found a kindred spirit in Ren. The friendship they'd developed was life-changing, Phantom Thieves or no Phantom Thieves. Without his best bro, he felt like he'd lost a part of himself.

He even missed Morgana, the stupid hairball-hacking jerk.

He had no idea if the rest of them had been talking or hanging out. He hadn't really seen or spoken to any of them all week -- their group chat was still sort of going but it had slowed a great deal since the Phantom Thieves had disbanded for good. Maybe each of them sent one message every few days. Today was the first day he'd just happened to get out of the house for more than a few minutes since their road trip before taking Ren home.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he neared the convenience store and the blue bench his mystery texter had told him to find. It didn't look any different from a distance, and there wasn't anyone sitting on or standing near it that he could see. He picked up his pace and walked up to it. Nothing on or around it... but just as he suspected, peering behind the bench revealed a tiny, curled-up lump of orange hair and black stockings.

"...Futaba?"

She lifted her head from where she'd hidden it under her hands and gave him a pitiful, tear-streaked smile. "Sakamoto, hey... I'm glad you decided to heed my invitation..."

Ryuji sighed and held out his hand. Futaba took it and allowed him to pull her to her feet. "I kinda figured it'd be you. I don't know anyone else that, uh... cryptic, is that the word? Why not just message me normally?"

"Force of habit, I guess," Futaba replied, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "Besides, if I just messaged you normally you'd start asking what I needed and stuff, and I just... didn't wanna say more over text than I needed to, you know?"

Ryuji resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. "Well, what do ya need? Are you alright? Talk to me."

"Yeah, I'm fine... sort of." Futaba shrugged and flopped onto the bench. "I'm sorry... bottom line, I didn't know who else to contact."

Ryuji leaned on the bench and cocked his head. "Well, what happened?"

"It's embarrassing..."

"So?" Ryuji laughed a bit. "Think about all the embarrassing shit _I've_ done! Pretty sure I've got ya beat. Spill."

"Okay, okaaaay." Futaba pulled her legs up to her chest and huffed. "Okay so like... I'm still working on being okay going out in public without R-... without anyone else. By myself, y'know? So... the new Angel Wars expansion is out and I figured I could go out and buy it instead of ordering it online like I usually do. So I came all the way out here to the game shop and went in and everything was going fine and then... then..." She groaned and buried her face in her arms again, causing her voice to muffle slightly. "I bumped into a display case and knocked the whole thing over. E... everyone was looking straight at me. I panicked and ran."

"Oh, geez..." Ryuji sighed. "I guess that _is_ pretty embarassing, especially with your anxiety and stuff..."

"I never even got the game... I shouldn't have even come out here. I'm not ready..."

"D'you still want it?"

Futaba lifted her head again. "Say what?"

"Do you still want the game? You already came all this way."

"I guess... but how can I go back there? I already embarrassed the crap out of myself."

Ryuji motioned for her to stand up again. "C'mon, let's go get it. I know you wanted to do the whole thing alone, but you managed to make it halfway, right? That's somethin' to be proud of. I'll go with ya the rest of the way."

"Ryuji... you'll really do that for me?" Futaba gazed up at him in disbelief.

"Sure. What're friends for?"

Futaba was silent for a few seconds before she fished her phone out of her pocket. "Sorry, one sec... I can't make this face I.R.L. but it's the best one to express the emotion I'm feeling, so..."

Ryuji's phone chimed. He glanced at it to find a single text from Futaba, sent normally this time.

_< ;w; >_

______________________________________________________________

"So what's this place again?"

Ryuji beamed as he held the door open for Futaba. "Only the best beef bowl joint in the whole of Tokyo! Me 'n' Ren come here all the time." He paused. "Er... used to come here. Anyway, the food here's bomb. I'm normally more into ramen, but this place was closer and it's still awesome. My treat, alright?"

Futaba nodded, clutching her bag to her chest as the two selected seats at the bar. "It's crowded... there are so many people..."

Ryuji nodded. "Yeah, it's super popular. You're gonna be okay, right?"

Futaba shrugged. "I can deal."

"Alright, just lemme know if, like... you gotta bail or whatever. Kay? Oh, two large beef bowls please!" Ryuji turned his attention from Futaba to the worker behind the counter. "And two ice waters!"

"Someone's hungry, huh?" Futaba let herself relax a bit.

"Yeah, I kinda worked up an appetite today." Ryuji stretched as he spoke.

"Oh yeah... you got over to where I was really fast, but... don't you live kinda far away from Akihabara? What were you doing out?"

"Yeah, I was kinda in the area. Actually... I was out jogging."

"Jogging?"

"Mhm," Ryuji nodded. "I guess I mostly talked to Ren about this stuff, but y'know how my whole beef with Coach Kamoshida had to do with the track team and stuff, yeah?"

"Sorta." Futaba shrugged. "I didn't hear about all of it, but I kinda get the gist, I think. He was the one who did a bunch of awful things to the volleyball team, Takamaki, her friend, et cetera?"

"Yeah..." Ryuji took a long sip from his water glass. "Okay so long story short, when he took over the track team when I was a first-year, he started spreadin' some really shitty rumors about my family. I flipped out on him, he... he broke my leg. Didn't get in trouble, 'cuz technically it was self-defense. After that the track team got disbanded, they all hated me, and the volleyball team became the main feature of Shujin's sports side." He looked downwards for a moment. It was a tough memory to recall.

"He... straight-up broke it?? Oh my God, that's horrible. I knew you had some issues with your leg, but... I didn't realize it was that serious..." Futaba stiffened in shock. "Sheesh Ryuji, I had no idea. But... then you met Ren, became a Phantom Thief, and took Kamoshida down, right?" She gave him a tiny, supportive arm punch. "Isn't the track team back together too now? Everything's okay finally!"

"Sorta. I dunno." Ryuji shrugged. "I decided not to go back to track. I told them it was because I didn't wanna cling to the past, but..." He reached a hand down and gingerly rubbed his right thigh. "It's honestly because of my leg."

"But you said that all happened when you were a first-year student. Your leg's gotta have healed by now?"

"I -- oh, thanks!" Ryuji's attention was split by the bowls that were placed in front of himself and Futaba! "Man, I'm starvin'... let's dig in!" He grinned at Futaba before giving his full attention to wolfing down as much beef would fit in his mouth at once.

Futaba snorted and joined in. For a few minutes the conversation went silent as the two very nearly matched one another in terms of inhaling noodles and meat. In an astonishingly short amount of time both bowls had been reduced to a third of their initial contents.

Ryuji leaned back with a sigh. "Maaaaan, this was exactly what the doctor ordered!" He glanced over to Futaba and whistled. "Holy crap, you've eaten almost as much as I have! How's that work? You're like half my size!"

Futaba cackled. "Sojiro's lucky I order a lot of instant yakisoba online. If I just relied on his curry he'd never have any at Leblanc!" The two shared a laugh and went quiet again until she spoke back up. "So, uh... your leg? Can I ask about it?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. Got distracted, heh." Ryuji took a moment to chug the rest of his water and sighed. "So... yeah. It was... a really bad break. Like bad bad. The doc recommended a bunch of stuff to help it heal, like physical therapy and stuff, but it's just me and my mom, and things were hard enough already before that shithead Kamoshida effed things up even more--!" He took a breath to calm himself before continuing. "Sorry. Long story short, we couldn't afford it. They put some metal in my leg and stuff but that was pretty much it. And I had to go back to school too, and even with the crutches they gave me I wound up walking on it a lot way before I was supposed to. So... it never really healed right, I guess. I think I mentioned before that I wanted to try that whole route again, but... I can't. I talked to my mom and movin's out of the question."

"I... oh. Sheesh..." Futaba shifted awkwardly. "I didn't even realize. Does... it hurt?"

Ryuji took a moment to think before answering, and when he did he looked directly at Futaba. "Honestly?... Yeah. It hurts pretty much all the time. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. It's why I can't really run anymore. I mean I can, but not for long distances. I can walk, fight, jump, all that stuff, but I gotta be careful. If I land wrong or overexert myself I feel it for days."

"Why didn't you ever say anything about it to the team!?" Futaba's voice started loud but shrank as she spoke, aware as she was about how many people were around. "I can think of a million times when we were in Palaces and Mementos where you could have gotten seriously hurt!"

"You think I wanted to be a liability? I mean everyone who went to Shujin knows about my leg breaking but if I whined about it you guys would all have worried about me way too much. Maybe you wouldn't have wanted me going on missions in the first place." Ryuji clenched his fist with a ragged sigh. "I know Ann would've been worried about me constantly, and it woulda effed with her concentration. And Morgana wouldn't ever let me hear the end of it. He already liked callin' me useless and lame and shit, imagine if he knew."

Futaba nodded reluctantly. "I guess that makes sense... I mean, Mona-chan likes to tease you, but he did kinda go too far sometimes."

"Way more than sometimes," Ryuji said sheepishly. "I never said anything because I didn't wanna be the guy who let a freakin' cat get to him, but man... some of those passing remarks really stung." He stopped speaking long enough to polish off his beef bowl and wipe his mouth. "Mmph. Damn, that was good. Yeah though, I guess that's one of the nice things about the Phantom Thieves bein' done for. No more havin' to bust my ass to save the world, right?" As Futaba finished her bowl, he put a small pile of cash on the bar. "You about ready to go?"

"Yeah, almost." Futaba looked around. "I'm actually feeling kind of okay here. My anxiety isn't as bad when I'm talking to someone interesting."

"Ha! Glad I'm finally interestin' to you!"

"Maybe if you'd introduced yourself with 'hi, I'm Ryuji Sakamoto and here's my entire tragic backstory', I'd have thought you were fascinating from the get-go!" Futaba stuck out her tongue and hopped down from her seat. "As it is, you were kinda boring until you convinced us all you'd heroically sacrificed yourself on an exploding cruise ship to save our lives. Anyway, let's go!"

"H-hey!" Ryuji called out, but she was already out the door. "Geez... what is it with this girl?"

She was waiting for him outside. "So," she said. "I should probably be getting home. I'm kinda really psyched to fire up this bad boy. The reviews are already _really_ good!"

"I'll walk with you to the station." Ryuji started walking. "I promised my mom I wouldn't be home too late."

"Okie-dokie." The two got halfway up the block before Futaba tilted her head. "So wait a second... if you still have a bad leg and you don't have to keep fit for the track team or the Phantom Thieves, why were you out jogging?"

"Oh yeah." Ryuji looked up at the sky as he spoke. "Well... like I said, I'll never get to do physical therapy or anything for my leg, and runnin' around for the Phantom Thieves probably did more damage than it did good. So I'm sorta tryin' to start over with it on my own -- doin' less stressful exercises and stuff to try to build my strength back up. I mean... this is my last year of high school, and I'm definitely not gettin' into any kinda college, so my best bet is to try and get into some kinda trade or a labor job. I mean... I just wanna be able to help my mom out. She's done so much for me, ya know?"

Futaba smiled reassuringly. "That's really noble of you!"

"Awh... thanks. I don't really think of it as bein' noble. I mean a lot of the reason I put so much into track 'n' field was for her, and now that that's all bust... I dunno. I just want her to be happy."

"Ryuji..."

"It's not a big deal! Seriously. I just wanna be in decent shape so I can get a good job. On top of that... I really am startin' to get tired of my leg bein' in such crap shape."

"I get what you mean." Futaba nodded. "I mean in a way I'm training myself too. I'm working overtime trying to get this dumb anxiety under control. With Ren gone... it's really tough. But I've gotta do it!"

Ryuji raised an eyebrow at her. "Any special reason why you're so gung-ho about it? Ain't that sorta thing supposed to be dealt with over time?"

"Normally yeah, but..." Futaba perked up. "Oh yeah, I guess you guys don't know. You know how I'm supposed to be officially starting high school?"  
"Of course."

"Well... I've known this for a while now, but the school Sojiro's enrolling me in is Shujin." She clutched her parcel a bit tighter as she spoke. "I... I'm gonna be a first-year student there starting next month. Wild, huh?"

"Holy SHIT!" Ryuji whooped. "Futaba, that's awesome!!!"

Futaba flinched. "I guess?"

"Wait... why wouldn't it be?"

"I dunno..." Futaba looked down. "I missed a whole year. Everyone I knew from middle school who wound up going to Shujin is going to be a year ahead of me. Not only am I a whole year out of practice when it comes to social interaction, I'm gonna be going back to school with a bunch of people I've never met before in my life." She sighed heavily. "Honestly, I'm really nervous. School wasn't exactly great for me to start with..."

"I guess that never changes, huh?"

"Yeah. You got ostracized for being a delinquent, but for me it was just because I was so good with computers and stuff. Plus something tell's me people are gonna know I was gone for a year. Some might even know it's because my mom died. What if I've got a reputation already? What if they spread rumors about me?? What if I have a panic attack in class, or an anxiety attack in the cafeteria???" She was starting to hyperventilate. "What if I--"

"Hey!" Ryuji stopped in his tracks, turned around, and put both hands on her shoulders. "You're gonna be fine, Futaba. Calm down." He looked right into her teary eyes and gave her the biggest grin he could muster. "You're gonna be a Shujin student, right? That means you'll be in the same school as me, Ann, Sumire, Mishima... if anything happens, one of us can come to your rescue, yeah?"

Futaba took a deep breath and managed to relax herself. "Y-yeah... you're right. What am I saying? I'm not alone anymore."

"Exactly!" Ryuji looked up, surprised to see the station looming in front of the two of them. "Oh geez, we're here already. You gonna be okay getting back home on your own?"

Futaba nodded cheerily. "Yeah! I'll be fine. It's a straight shot back from here."

"Sweet. See ya later?"

"See ya later."

"..."

"... Hey, Ryuji?"

"Yeah?" Ryuji turned back around just in time to be assaulted by the closest thing to a bear hug that someone as small as Futaba could manage. "W-whoa!!"

"Thank you. Thank you _so_ much," Futaba squeaked. "Today would've completely sucked if you hadn't come to my rescue."

"Ahahaha..." Ryuji gave her a slightly awkward pat on the top of her head. "It was nothin'. I'm glad we got to hang out. This week's been... weird, more than anything." He peeled himself off of her and gave her a thumbs-up. "I really needed this bit o' social interaction!"

Futaba giggled. "Alright, here's where we part for today then. I guess I just have one last question for you."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"...Who's Mishima?"


	2. Spicy Ramen, Breakfast Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Child, take the hand of that which would guide you  
> And look to the skies, the stars are beside you  
> Your troubles have faded, but you still worry so  
> Your morning is far brighter here than you know

Since his jog had been cut short, Ryuji opted to take the train only part of the way home, and walk the final leg of the trip back. By the time he opened the front door to his apartment building, his hip was starting to ache.

"Mooom? I'm home!" he called before flopping onto the dilapidated sofa, one of the few pieces of furniture adorning the tiny, cluttered living room. Hearing no response, his attention was drawn to a small note tented on top of the tiny coffee table. He picked it up and read it with a sigh.

_Ryuji: Got dragged back to work, someone called in sick._

_Probably won't be back until close._

_Hope your jog went well. Brought home the spicy ramen you like._

_Don't stay up too late!_

_Love, Mom_

He tossed the note back onto the table and sprawled out on the sofa. 'Work' was actually his mom's second job -- by day she worked first-shift at a manufacturing place, and in the late afternoons she worked part-time as a Big Bang Burger manager. The bills got paid, but it meant the two didn't see one another often. On days when she had to work both jobs, nearly all the communication between Ryuji and his mother occurred through the notes she was so fond of leaving around the house for him. This probably wasn't the only note she'd left before heading to work, either; he had an inkling there was going to be another one either on the bathroom mirror or taped to the door to his room.

Ever since Haru's father, the CEO of Okumura Foods, had been killed, things had apparently been completely hectic behind the scenes at BBB. Earlier that day, before he'd left, had been the first time he'd been able to spend time with his mom in almost a solid week. He'd been looking forward to a relaxed evening at home with her... a pang of guilt shot through him. He shouldn't have gone out.

Then again, he reminded himself, he would have left anyway after Futaba messaged him... and had he been home, he would have gotten to her almost fifteen minutes later. In other words, he would have had to actively choose between spending time with his mom and rescuing his friend. Ugh, not a choice he would have wanted to make. He rubbed his temple and groaned out loud. At almost the exact same time, his phone chimed. It was Futaba.

_< Made it home without stumbling into any mystery castles. You?>_

He couldn't help but grin as he typed his response.

<Bad news, actually. I'm in a prison cell right now. Probs gonna be executed.>

_< For real?>_

<Hey, that's my thing!>

_< You were gonna leave your catchphrases to me in your will anyway.>_

Her quip made him crack up out loud. It was almost a shame that this conversation wasn't happening in the group chat. Dark humor like this was totally Ren's thing.

After a moment of thought, he shot a message to Ren.

<Hey bro, you up? Today's been kinda wild.>

He waited a few seconds, but after seeing no immediate response he flipped back over to his chat with Futaba, who sent him another response before he could say anything back to the first one.

_< omg omg omg this expansion is sO COOL...>_

<Yeah? What's different from before about it?>

_< Literally everything. Two new angel types, a bunch of new areas opened up, and SO MANY new weapons...>_

<Yeah, but can you play as a skeleton riding a battleship? Or a UFO? Or a motorcycle?>

_< Sorry, but nah. No giant dongs riding on chariots either.>_

<Damn. If there was a video game with THAT in it, I'd pay big bucks!>

_< Not me. After seeing something like that in real life I don't think I ever want to see anything like it again.>_

<Yeah lmao, you're probably right. Would something like that even be allowed in a video game??>

_< Hiiiiighly doubt it.>_

Over the course of the conversation Ryuji migrated to his bedroom so he could get more comfortable, and a bit of time went by before he responded. Unfortunately, his mind was suddenly set on that stupid dick chariot shadow. Ren's ability to hold multiple Personas meant that over the course of their adventures he had gotten into the habit of collecting them... and more than once he'd brought Mara into battle. Having to defeat a giant green penis was somehow so much less disturbing than fighting _alongside_ one...

<We had to see a lot of effed-up shit as the Phantom Thieves, huh?>

_< I take it you mean the Throbbing King of Desire, eh?>_

<Yeah.>

_< At least you didn't have to see your dead mom as a giant sphinx monster.>_

Oops.

<Right, forgot about that... sorry.>

_< Oh geez, wasn't trying to dismiss you sorry. Just... yeah. We've seen some stuff.>_

<Man... it's weird but like. Ever since we stopped bein the phantom thieves ive been kinda missing it? but then i think about all the shit we had to deal with and i feel really glad that it's over.>

_< I swear you came close to dying more often than any of us.>_

<G E E , T H A N K S>

_< :^) >_

_< Oh hey, I'm gonna focus on my game, k?>_

<Shit, yeah. Sorry, don't wanna keep you from it. TTYL?>

_< Of course!>_

Ryuji tossed his phone beside him on the bed and stretched. He'd already shed his pants and he glanced down at his right thigh. Wincing, he reached down and unclasped the brace that extended from the middle of his thigh down to his knee and carefully removed it, revealing the wrinkled, scarred flesh that marked where he'd gotten the plate and screws put in; the doctors' effort to get the splintered bones to knit together properly. Of course it hadn't worked -- there wasn't a side of his leg that he could run his hand over and not feel some kind of bump under the skin.

He'd gotten the idea a month or so earlier to move to an area closer to a physical therapy clinic. In truth, he'd been pretty excited about the idea. It would mean leaving Shujin for his senior year, but getting a fresh start would have been great. He'd been as gentle as possible proposing the idea to his mother, but she gave him the answer he'd both expected and dreaded -- they didn't have enough money to move, their insurance didn't cover the kind of extensive work he needed, et cetera. She'd gotten so upset during their conversation that she had started crying. It had made him feel so guilty for even asking. He knew she felt bad enough already for so many things that weren't her fault in the slightest, mistakes he had made and his choices. That was why he was doing this. He just didn't want her worrying or feeling bad anymore.

Between the penis chariots and his mother's guilt, Ryuji found himself drifting off to a series of progressively more restless dreams.

______________________________________________________________

_< Oh hey, I'm gonna focus on my game, k?>_

<Shit, yeah. Sorry, don't wanna keep you from it. TTYL?>

_< Of course!>_

Futaba set her phone down on the desk next to her and glued her eyes to the screen. The new expansion meant her level 60 Arch Angel was now able to reach level 70 -- meaning she had a lot of work to do.

After about an hour of questing she was shocked back to the real world by a knock on the door.

"Futaba?" Sojiro's gentle voice could be heard on the other side. "I forgot to ask when you came home, did you eat while you were out? It's getting late and I don't want you going hungry."

"Yeah, I'm good!" Futaba called back, not taking her eyes off the battle she was currently winning. "Oh, but could we have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow?"

She could hear him chuckle. "Sure, if you're awake early enough. Try not to pull another all-nighter, okay? Remember, you start school soon. Getting up early won't be optional then."

"Well yeah, that's why I have to get my freedom gaming in while I still have it!" she hollered. "Don't worry, my raid group knows my schedule's gonna change!"

"Alright, I'll leave you to it. There'll be pancakes waiting for you in the morning, but it's your choice whether they're gonna be cold when you get to them."

Futaba grinned as she listened to him walk away. She hadn't used to like pancakes, but she'd recently developed a fondness for them. If she hadn't stuffed herself to bursting earlier she would have asked for them for dinner. Oh well, Ryuji's fault for buying her such delicious beef.

As much as she tried to concentrate on delving through the nine circles of Hell, she couldn't help but reflect on the day's events. Going out by herself to get this game had absolutely been her Big Goal of the day, and she'd gotten so close to seeing it through. The crowded train ride had been nerve-wracking, but blasting music through her headphones with her eyes closed had gotten her through both the trip there and the trip home. The bustling Akihabara streets had been a bit harder, if only because she couldn't keep her eyes closed while walking (she'd tried it and had almost walked into traffic). The game shop had been the easy part, or so she had thought. Some old man talking on the phone had let out a laugh so loud and jarring that it had startled her into tripping and knocking over a massive, teetering display case. Literally every pair of eyes in the entire store were immediately on her. It was literally her worst-case scenario. She'd panicked and booked it. God knows how long she would have cowered behind that bench if Ryuji hadn't come.

Briefly she let herself think about the reason why she chose to ask Ryuji for help. Sure, there were a million small reasons why the others wouldn't have been ideal picks. Haru and Makoto were over an hour away at some business function. Ann had a tendency to draw eyes to herself and anyone she was with. Yusuke... was arguably just as bad in social situations as she was. But why Ryuji? He was loud, had a tendency to not understand those who were different from him, and overall was sort of dumb and devoid of tact.

The reason why was pretty obvious, though. He was a surrogate Ren. Tall, strong, big enough to hide behind. Like a guard dog. Aside from Sojiro, Ren had been the first person in over a year that she had felt even remotely comfortable enough being around, and with him gone, she had felt... slightly lost. Like she was just one bad experience away from slipping right back into the hikikomori state she'd been trapped in. Of course she knew it wasn't likely -- the darkest bits of her heart had been healed the day the Phantom Thieves stole her Treasure -- but he'd only been gone for a week and already she felt so much more fragile.

It had been nice to feel strong again. It was funny... both Ren and Ryuji gave her a feeling of being protected. Back in the beef bowl shop, after a while it felt like she and Ryuji were the only two people there. The feeling didn't last long, of course, but for a little bit there she caught herself feeling the way she could only imagine real people felt all the time. It was so nice... just a shame she never felt that way in public alone. She thought again about what Ryuji had said about it being a process, about how it took time. He was right, after all. It made sense too, considering the fact that he was the same way, more or less. All the stuff he'd said about his leg... about what a difficult time he was having with his recovery, and about how trying to rush it had likely just made things worse. How what had happened to him had shattered any chances he might have had at living a normal, stable life. How it seemed as though there was no hope for anything to get better.

Maybe the two of them were more alike than she'd thought.

Starting high school was going to be hell... but the more Futaba thought about it the more relieved she was that someone like Ryuji was going to be there. It was more than just having a familiar face, and it was more than just having a strong male presence to lean on. Somehow, in this foul-mouthed, short-tempered idiot goblin, she'd managed to find someone she related to... even more than the fellow socially anxious geeks she spent time with online. For a long time she had thought that they were the only kindred spirits she was likely to know. It felt so strange to find one that was, on the surface, her polar opposite. It was a nice feeling, and the more she felt it the more she liked it. It was almost as though... as though she had someone else to heal alongside.

She glanced at the corner of her screen. Two in the morning... the time had flown by faster than she'd realized. She leaned back, removing her glasses and rubbing her eyes. Warm pancakes sounded so good... She shot a quick goodnight message to her party members and closed out of the game. As she flopped into bed and curled up under the covers, she wondered if Ryuji was asleep yet.

If he was, she hoped he was having good dreams.


End file.
